According to the cover, the book contains "jokes, notions, doubts, opinions, questions, thoughts, beliefs, assertions, assumptions, and disturbing references" and "comedy, nonsense, satire, mockery, merriment, sarcasm, ridicule, silliness, bluster, and toxic alienation". For longtime Carlin fans, the book also contains complete versions of two of his most famous monologues, " A Place for My Stuff " and "Baseball and Football". The following year, the paperback edition was published. Both editions were published by Hyperion. As of January , the book had sold over , total copies.
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How are ya? You got your stuff with you? Guys have stuff in their pockets; women have stuff in their purses. Of course, some women have pockets, and some guys have purses. You got stuff in the trunk. Lotta different stuff: spare tire, jack, tools, old blanket, extra pair of sneakers.
Just in case you wind up barefoot on the highway some night. In the glove box. Stuff you might need in a hurry: flashlight, map, sunglasses, automatic weapon. You know. So stuff is important. You gotta take care of your stuff. You gotta have a place for your stuff. You could just walk around all the time. A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it.
You look down and see all the little piles of stuff. And they lock it up! They just want the good stuff; the shiny stuff; the electronic stuff.
So when you get right down to it, your house is nothing more than a place to keep your stuff. Otherwise someone else might wind up with more stuff. Gotta have the most stuff. In the closets, in the attic, in the basement, in the garage. Actually, your parents threw that stuff out long ago. So now you got a houseful of stuff. And, even though you might like your house, you gotta move. Gotta get a bigger house. Too much stuff!
Or maybe, put some of your stuff in storage. Imagine that. Or maybe you could sell some of your stuff. Have a yard sale, have a garage sale! Or you could take your stuff to the swap meet, the flea market, the rummage sale, or the auction. You can even give your stuff away. Ok, enough about your stuff.
You know why? No room for your stuff! And what crummy stuff it is! Where did they get this stuff? It gets real late, and you decide to stay over? Not even the vaporizer?
Have you noticed that their stuff is shit, and your shit is stuff? Crap is the stuff that belongs to the person you just broke up with.
Sometimes you go on vacation, and you gotta take some of your stuff. Mostly stuff to wear. But which stuff should you take? Just the stuff you really like; the stuff that fits you well that month.
You gotta take two big suitcases of stuff. Two weeks, two big suitcases. But you also got your carry-on stuff, plus the stuff you bought in the airport. You got stuff in the overhead rack, stuff under the seat, stuff in the seat pocket, and stuff in your lap.
Put some stuff in here. Hey, you know what? Still, you sense that you must be OK, because you do have some of your stuff with you. And so you relax in Honolulu on that basis. Now whaddya bring? You gotta bring an even smaller version of your stuff. Just enough stuff for a weekend on Maui. Supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain! You got your 8 x 10 autographed picture of Drew Carey, a large can of gorgonzola-flavored Cheez Whiz, a small, unopened packet of brown confetti, a relief map of Corsica, and a family-size jar of peppermint-flavored, petrified egg whites.
And so you begin to relax in Maui on that basis. Maybe spend the night over there. You gotta bring an even smaller version. Number six! The most important version of your stuff: your wallet! And so about a week later, you clean out the closet, the attic, the basement, the garage, the storage locker, and all the other places you keep your stuff, and you get things down to manageable proportions.
Just the right amount of stuff to lead a simple and uncomplicated life. It seems your aunt has died. Oh no! Now whaddya do? You do the only thing you can do.
The honorable thing. You tell your lawyer to stuff it.
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